More Pictures

Here are some pictures from the trip. We had a wonderful time visiting family, but it was bittersweet for me. I have become a terrible blogger because most of the time I just done know what to write anymore. It seems that when I first started this it was to let everyone know how Keith was doing and I realize now that all I write about is how I feel.

Basically, I miss Keith more each day and it has gotten to the point that I cry everyday. Being home seemed so strange without him. I did go to the cemetery and it didn't seem real. I thought that by going I might make his death seem more real to me, but I think it made it worst.

There are sometimes that I just want to scream, but I don't know who to scream at. God, Keith, who??? I just wish someone would tell me how to get though this and make the pain go away. I have told Christopher that I will try to go to church with him Sunday but my heart isn't there. I am just so mad.

On the house side, we have basically finished. Mom is making curtains this week ad I am unpacking boxes. That is also very hard. I find things that were Keith's like his glasses, ties and things we had. I don't know what to do with most of it. My life is in boxes and I realize that I don't have much a life anymore. Sasha is a great help. Funny what a small little dog can do when you feel so down.

Now the holidays are coming up and all I want to do it cancel the rest of the year until the middle of January, but I can't. I have a child to think of, so I will slap a smile on my face and continue.

Enough for today.