Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I want to run away

I want to run away. From what I don't know. It seems no matter were I am I don't want to be there. This time of the year has always been such a happy time for me. I start planning for Thanksgving and Christmas. It was always Keith's favorite time also. All I want to do is hide. When I go to shops I cannot even look at the decorations. I feel so alone.

I have accepted a job with Aflac. I will have to get my insurance license and I hope that by throwing myself into my work I will start to feel better. I am looking forward to starting very soon.

So much as happened on the last few weeks and I can't say it has been for the best. Each time I want to pick up the phone and call Keith only I can't. Today I found out that his cell phone was still connected and I to take care of that.

Do you ever get to feeling better or just get to feel again? If only I had 15 minutes to talk to him.

1 comment:

Darlene said...

I now know your pain. Even though I'm not in the same situation of what you are going through, but I have been with my husband for over 20 years and never been apart from him. But his mother passed away on Saturday and he had to leave for North Carolina this week and for the first time in my life I really felt alone. I don't know what I would do if anything would happen to him that would bring us apart permanently. I didn't know how huge my house was until I came home one night and stood in the living room and looked to the front and back and was in awe, knowing he isn't there. When he's in the house with me, he is either in the front of the house or in the basement watching movies, but I know his presence is there. Now this is only for one week for our apartness and I couldn't imagine being apart forever. I think he felt it too, he calls me everyday telling me how much he misses me and love me. I would never take him for granted anymore and I will for now cherish every moment that we are together here on this eart. I hope that you do get through all this and wish you all the best. Good luck on your new job.