Trying to Stay Busy and Update

I have been trying to stay as busy as possible. As long as I stay busy my mind and emotions are at bay. At night it doesn't work and the night seems so long. I cry at almost everything and everywhere. At first it embarrassed me to be in a public place and break down, but at this point I just don't care. I miss Keith so much each and everyday.


This past weekend Christopher and I went to Davis's baseball game and then out to lunch with them. It was just what we both needed. Caroline asked me where Papa Keith was and then said "I know, in heaven." Then she wanted to know how he got there. We explained that angels came to take him to heaven because God needed him back. She said she wanted him here. Lisa and I tryed to explain that we would all see him again one day. When we told her that he was watching over all of us, then that seemed to be okay with her. We also told Davis we were going to move. He didn't like that , but Kevin told him that they would come and visit.


When my Dad died Mom had moved in with us. She didn't sell her house, so Christopher, Mom and I are moving up to her house. We are really looking forward to it. I am ready for a fresh start and being away from Atlanta. I love it here, but can't do it without Keith. The town we are moving to is Bells, Tenn. It is on the western side of Tennessee about 80 miles east of Memphis. Mom's house sits on 2 acres and you might see a car every 2 or 3 hours, so I am looking forward to the peace and quiet. Maybe there I can start to heal my heart. We are planning on moving at the end of the month.


I have been packing this week and separating what things we are taking and what is going in the garage sale. We have almost finished the downstairs so I am going to start the sale tomorrow and continue on next weekend. After we get the house done, then we start the storage room. Savation Army will get to take alot of stuff.


School is still hard for Christopher and doesn't seem to have his heart in it. I have told him to just get through this year. Most of his teachers have been very understanding about the situation. With all the stress of Keith's illness and death, I think he is doing pretty good. His grades have always been very good, but they have gone down this year. If we have to have to get a tutor to get him caught up then I will get one.


The one thing we haven't been able to do yet is going back to church. Every Sunday we get up with the intentions to go, but we just can't yet. Sunday mornings were always so special to us. We had our place to sit and then we would go out to lunch. Right now, I just can't face that and everyone at church. I hope that this Sunday we will be able to go.