Not Sure Of What I am Feeling today

I am not sure what I am feeling today. This has become a way to express my feeling and sorrows. Last night was so great, I talked with my nephew (Nik he lives in California) and he and his future wife are coming out to see us. We are not sure of when he is coming but I can hardly wait to see him and meet his fiancee. They are both professional sky divers and I am very proud of him. He and I have always had a close relationship and even though we don't see him often, he and I have always been able to talk just about anything. Nik, if you read this know I love you very much, then we found out that Keith's cousin Pat and her son Paul are coming to visit from Canada. It will be a short visit but I am so excited to see them. I haven't meet Paul so I am looking forward to seeing both of them. Wednesday, Keith's sister, Christine is coming from England. It looks like I am going to have a busy week and I am so excited. Pat sorry I didn't get to talk to you last night. This means so much to us to have our family here.
This morning I went to check the MPIP and found out that one is worst and another died. When is this going to end. It seems that someone is taken from everyday from this horrible disease. We need more research, but as I have been told "this is not one of the designer cancers so there isn't the research done". That makes me so mad!!!!!. Our young people need to be educated about the dangers of tanning, both in tanning beds and the sun. It is so simple don't go to the tanning beds and stay out of the sun or use sunscreen. Don't think it can't happen to you. It can!!! I am seeing young children as young as 5 having melanoma. This tears families apart. Every night I see Keith aching and having to take pain pills, this isn't the Keith I know that goes from daylight to night. He is still working and I am so grateful for that, I think that is what keeps him going besides his family. I find I have gone back to when Christopher was small. I have always said that when you have a baby there is a switch that is turned on that every time your child turns you hear it, well I am that way with Keith. I sleep with one eye open and any little move, I ask if he is okay. I guess I am just scared. It is so hard to see him like that.