Yesterday is a blur. The flowers were beautiful and the service was what Keith would have wanted. The pictures are of Davis and Leah. We showed Davis the flowers that were from the grandchildren and he wanted a picture of them with him. At least that's what I was told. Leah is my cousin and sang. I want to thank everyone who made yesterday as easy as it could be.
When Keith and I had been married for about a year, we got a dog. Clancey was a big beautiful golden retriever, who Keith loved dearly. Clancey lived to be 12 years old and when he died a part of our family died with him. We had him cremated and Christopher wouldn't let us bury him. When we were talking about Keith's burial it seemed right that Clancey should be buried beside Keith. This was Keith's first dog and he was 45 when he got him, so now Clancey and Keith are together again and I choose to believe that they are together again healthy and playing.
Grief is overwhelming. I have never felt like this before. Reality is for the birds, I want my husband back. I wanted to wake up this morning and find Keith beside me. He would have held me and told me it would be okay. I find myself crying most of the time and this pain is to real. I have heard people talk about grief being physical pain and it is.
The love of my life is gone from my sight, but he will always be in my heart.
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5 comments:
Dear Suzan:
Even though I could not be at the services yesterday, you were on my mind. What a hard day that must have been for you and Christopher and all the people who loved Keith.
God Bless.
Joy
It is no doubt physical pain. Please take care of yourself. I ache for you, knowing how bad this feels. You had the strength to survive this so far, and you will be able to carry on with Christopher. Take just one day at a time.
I'm thinking of you always.
Jenni
There are no words to say that will make this transition any easier Suzan but just know that even although we have never met and never will ...you and your family are loved by many people out here. We pray for you, we admire you and send blessings your way. Keith's spirit is soaring.
I cannot imagine the pain and loss you are feeling. This is something that has escaped me thus far in life. I do want you to know that I care very deeply and that you and Christopher are in my very heartfelt thoughs and prayers. It's nice to think of Keith and your beloved pet together again and free of the pain and constrictions of this life. It's also nice to think that he has left a very precious piece of himself with you on earth in your children and the memories which, while they cannot hold you, are very precious indeed and must hold a measure of comfort for you. I can't make it better, but I can say I care. (((hugs)))
Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you today.
Jenni
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