Frustation Plus!!!!!!! - Long

Sometimes I do wonder about our government. In addition to everything else our family is going though, I am having to fight them. Keith has had a green card for 40 years. He has paid social security, taxes and everything else like all of us do. Keith just wanted to keep his English citizenship so he never got anything but his green card. I was told to apply for his Social Security benefits since he is 64. So, I did. They made an appointment and I went today to discover that his green card had expired. In order for them to pay him the benefits he has to have a current green card. Everything is approved, but they will hold his money until it is current. This is a man who has done everything by the book for over 40 years. I applied on line for his new card and paid the money for it. I called the Immigration office and they transferred me to the department to expedite the card. Well, I got someone who 1. couldn't speak English and then told me he had to talk to Keith. I tried to explain that he could not talk to him since he was in hospice care,had 6 brain tumors and was confused about everything. That did not make any different, he had to talk to him. I just hung up and called our senator's office. The gentleman I spoke to said he understood and told me what to do and hopefully he could get it to go though in a day or two. I explained that Keith wouldn't be able to go anywhere for a picture or fingerprint. He thinks he may be able to get it waved. I don't need this right now, but will continue on.

Keith is weaker by the day. He is sleeping most of the day now. Every now and then I do get to see him. We had a good talk this afternoon about all this mess and he smiled and said I guess we just screwed up on that one. He also remembered that we had made it to our 20th anniversary and had a wonderful Christmas. He said he was sad that we didn't get to go to Tybee Island. It was a short talk but so wonderful to have him even if it only for a moment. He seems to slip in and out of reality and I live for the moments that he is with us. He did know who I was this afternoon. He tells me that he loves me and I tell him all the time. I honestly don't know how he is hanging on, but he does.

Christine has been a God Send. I don't know how I would be doing if she wasn't here. Mom has been so wonderful. Yesterday they decided that I needed some rest and Christine slept in the room with Keith and I slept with Mom. She said I slept hard last night.

I wish I knew why God has done this to us and to this wonderful man, but it is not for me to question, though I do. This is not the life we planned so many years ago. We were going to grow old together. Now I will try to figure out my life again. I don't want to and dread being without him. It just doesn't seem right. If there is anything anyone gets out of this, I hope it is that you stay out of the sun and tanning places. Melanoma is a horrible cancer and takes you little by little. Most people think only skin cancer, but it doesn't just hit your skin.